Ezra Dyer

Contributing Writer
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Ezra Dyer
Ezra Dyer grew up in Maine on the wrong side of the tracks. And they weren’t even train tracks. They were raccoon tracks. There was no cable TV in Jefferson, and Dyer was forced to read “books.” The other children made fun of his name, calling him Azrael -- Gargamel’s cat on The Smurfs -- and Lezra. He vowed that one day they would no longer taunt him. One day, he would legally change his name to Mike.

In college, Dyer grew disillusioned with the North American way of life and became an expatriate, living in London for an entire semester. This period obviously informs many of his later works, particularly Bloody Hell Old Chap, There’s Custard on My Trousers.

After graduation Dyer moved to Boston. The next few years proved tumultuous: First his cable company was Cablevision, then it turned into AT&T, then it became ComCast. All of them would make devastating, empty promises about upgrading to digital. Still, he persevered, constantly chasing his dream of becoming a write star.

After writing a column for several years, Dyer moved to L.A. and became syndicated in more than 500 RMV scrolling electronic text displays. He won the Nobel Peace Prize in 2006, when a Korean translation of his column caused Kim Jong Il to laugh so hard that he renounced Communism. Dyer is easily the most famous and important nonfiction writer in human history, having come within a Tom Bergeron cancellation of appearing on the third season of I’m a Celebrity: Get Me out of Here!

articles by Ezra Dyer

2014 chevrolet corvette c7
Road Tests

2014 Chevrolet Corvette Stingray First Drive

Eye-popping performance meets poise.
| Jul 24, 2013
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dyer consequences
Dyer Consequences

Gator Wrangler

For me, major childhood milestones were defined by the various wheeled conveyances that served as placeholders until the day I got my driver's license.
| Jul 24, 2013
dyer consequences
Dyer Consequences

Crash Course

Safety features normally don't get a lot of play in car reviews, for the simple reason that crumple zones and seatbelt pretensioners tend to induce extreme boredom.
| Jul 08, 2013
dyer consequences
Dyer Consequences

Absolute Power

If you were to chart new-car horsepower over the past ten years, the graph would look like the one for Lindsay Lohan arrests: flat, flat, climbing a bit, and then suddenly skyrocketing toward vertical.
| Jun 03, 2013
2013 all stars
Car Awards

2013 Automobile Magazine All-Stars

Eleven winners, seven stories, three continents.
| May 21, 2013
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Dyer Consequences

Do It Yourself. Or Maybe Don't.

In my line of work, I'm constantly reminded of my mechanical ignorance.
| Apr 29, 2013
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Dyer Consequences

A Little Pick-Me-Up

Last year, Ford, Chrysler, and GM sold 1,514,176 full-size pickup trucks. America’s car dealers also moved thousands of Toyota Tundras and Tacomas, Nissan Titans and Frontiers, and even 490 Dodge Dakotas.
| Feb 27, 2013
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Dyer Consequences

Forget the 2014 Vette...

By the time you read this, the details of the new C7 Corvette will be public knowledge. But what about the C8?
| Feb 25, 2013
ford-bronco
News & Rumors

Stroke of Madness

Is the Power stroke diesel Bronco the best SUV that Ford never built?
| Jan 18, 2013
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Dyer Consequences

Showtime

I don't go to many auto shows, mainly because the Internet has killed the suspense that once enlivened the show circuit.
| Jan 16, 2013
dyer-consequences
Dyer Consequences

Clutch Performance

We're driving up a hill in a new Dodge Dart when the revs start climbing, independent of the car's speed.
| Dec 10, 2012
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Dyer Consequences

Almost Perfect

The pace of automotive improvement accelerates each year.
| Nov 12, 2012
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Dyer Consequences

Let's Make A Deal

Thousands of years ago, man invented the wheel. And then, a few minutes later, man sold that wheel with full undercoating and extended warranty protection against flat-spotting, stone cracking, and mammoth damage.
| Oct 12, 2012
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