I know what you're thinking: "Oh no, he didn't." Well, oh yes, I did. But not so you could giggle at the absurdity of a quarter-million-dollar Lamborghini with a lighted pizza delivery sign on its roof. Fact is, you've probably read pages of prose explaining how fast modern exotics are, but it's difficult to describe their performance in mere words. Every supercar passenger thinks he knows what to expect, but when pedal hits metal, it's always the same: first they're paralyzed with fear, and then they let loose with cursing and screaming. If our words can't prepare you for what it feels like to be slung to 60 mph in four seconds, we won't bother trying. Instead, we'll prove that you could actually drive one of these supercars every day, and you can do it with no oil slicks, no tow trucks on retainer, and no explosions of the cooling-system, the kinds of problems we traditionally associate with exotic-car ownership.
To that end, I got a job at Domino's Pizza. If the kings of the supercars - the Lamborghini Gallardo LP560-4 and the Ferrari F430 - can be used to deliver pizzas, they can surely survive your daily commute. Obviously, this little pizza stunt required a bit of advance planning - I wouldn't expect anyone to let me deliver pizzas in a $250,000 car registered to someone else. So after successfully interviewing, I present my beat-up old BMW for Domino's cursory safety inspection. The BMW passes, and I'm asked to return the next evening for my first shift. Which I do. In the Lamborghini.
I park just out of sight of the storefront so no one sees me duct-taping the lighted sign to the Lambo's roof. Magnets don't stick to supercars made of aluminum, you know. When I get my first delivery order, I sneak to the dark side of the parking lot and hop in. The Gallardo's infotainment system is lifted straight from the Audi A3, so entering the address into the navigation system is quick and easy. The all-wheel-drive system binds when turning tight corners, but the bright and clear reverse camera helps me back out of the parking spot quickly. I pull the right-hand shift paddle to engage first gear, squeeze the throttle, and set off. The pizza rests safely inside the insulated warming bag on the passenger seat, which is itself being kept warm by a seat heater so powerful it feels as though it could have melted the cheese in the first place.