Are you one of the tens of people out there who’s ever wondered, “Why does my pizza get delivered to me when it could be launched at me?” Fret no more. Pizza Hut has helped Paramount develop a prototype pizza-thrower tank to promote the upcoming Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle movie, and get this: it appeared at this year’s Comic Con where fans climbed aboard and shot pizzas at targets.
If this sounds way, way too good to be true, just wait ‘til we load on the toppings. The pizza-thrower tank is positively enormous, at 12 feet tall, 9 feet wide, and 16 feet long. It uses manhole covers for hubcaps and is painted in two-tone military green with a “pizza resistant finish.” Why anyone or anything would want to resist pizza is puzzling, to say the least.
Regardless, that’s two tons of Neapolitan-launching fury, built from a mix of molded box steel tubing and fiber glass reinforced plywood on top of a 2002 Toyota Tacoma chassis. The suspension is made of modified airbags which allow 8 inches of vertical travel. We’re sure this is precisely the sort of use Toyota had in mind when it designed the Tacoma.
Brace yourself for some more saucy specs: the pizza-thrower tank has a top speed of 75 mph, or 10 mph while launching pies. Pizza snipers sitting atop the tank’s turret can smite targets with the power of tomato and cheese from a maximum range of 30 feet. They come in hot, too, loaded from the tank’s belly and launched at a top speed of 20 feet per second.
The tech behind this behemoth includes a trigger which sends compressed air into a pneumatic actuator, extending a plunger to launch the pizza. On top, the turret can rotate 60 degrees in fewer than 5 seconds, thanks to an electric wheelchair motor attached to a vertically mounted 3-inch metal shaft.
Needless to say, everyone should have his or her own pizza-throwing tank. Not since the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles first used the vehicle to help rid the world of Shredder’s evil has the need become so pressing. Check out these photos and video footage of the Pizza Hut TMNT pizza-throwing tank in action at this year’s Comic Con in San Diego, but leave your stinking anchovies at home.