The all-new, 2013 Aston Martin Vanquish is less garish than a Lamborghini and much easier to drive in traffic. It has the prowess of a Ferrari and more style than a Mercedes-Benz. We rarely come face-to-face with a flagship Aston, and it’s even more rare that we have a chance to drive one. So when a Vanquish recently showed up at our door, it was an occasion. Work took a backseat and we turned into drooling car geeks who couldn’t stop talking about how best to spend our time with it. Here are the twelve things we decide we have to do now that we have a twelve-cylinder Aston Martin at our disposal.
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1) We’ll need a new suit: Our tailor impolitely tells us that our sport coat isn’t nice enough for the Vanquish. Shaming us into a buying a suit—what a pro.
2) Our friends won’t believe it unless we take pictures: We generally don’t get in front of the camera, so we pose the way we see people on Facebook posing in front of their cars.
3) Let’s ruin someone’s day: We’ve all read that the Ford Fusion’s nose looks like an Aston Martin’s. But, as you see, no…no it does not.
4) Now let’s make someone’s day: We drive to our old high school and cause quite a stir when school lets out for the day. Kids love it. We’re no Siddhartha Gautama, but we’ll take the karma points.
5) We only live twice: We like the intro chase scene in the James Bond film Quantum of Solace, but—believe us—it’s much nicer when you can rev a V-12 for “real” surround sound.
6) That gets us to thinking—let’s find a pretty girl: We didn’t think she’d want to drive, but we can’t say no to those legs.
7) That gets us to thinking again—let’s find a motel: On second thought, we’re not going to get that personal. Moving on…
8) Oh, look, a tunnel. We wonder what the Aston sounds like in it: Great. The answer is great.
9) If it sounds that good at 20 mph, how does it sound at 120 mph? Even better. And we still have two more gears to get through.
10) We usually follow all the posted speed limits, officer, promise. Also, there’s no glovebox in the Vanquish, and we can’t remember where we put the registration.
11) After talking to that cop, we crave donuts. Both kinds of donuts. First the sprinkled kind, then the smoky kind.
12) This Aston Martin is so delicious to look at and drive that we want to lick it. This adorable pitbull pup beats us to the punch. It’s weird, but it’s true.