So I’m driving the new Nissan Maxima and I’m liking it a lot. Very light and powerful and the steering feels great. I’m bombing homeward down the freeway, keeping it under 80 when I see a cop stashed in a ditch where I’ve never seen one. Luckily, I’m behind traffic that’s kept me semi-legal, but I keep an eye on the rearview until I can’t see him anymore. Good.
A mile later, I have to jump onto another freeway via a long constant-radius, two-lane ramp. Thank god for the extra lane, because there’s some slowboat in front of me paying careful attention to the recommended 25-mph speed limit on the ramp. I jump left and lay on the acceleration til I’m almost drifting through at 70. I am totally focused on taking a great line through when suddenly all of the Maxima’s mirrors are filled with POLICE CAR.
I give him the straight ahead and move right without lifting. I can just see his cop car nose in my peripheral vision at the Maxima’s B-pillar. No siren, doesn’t pull alongside, doesn’t pass.
Does he want to see the new Maxima?? It’s nice but not exactly breathtaking. Is he showing disapproval of my speed? Is he proving he can keep up? WHAT?!? Suddenly, my mirrors clear and I see his car dive into the median where there isn’t a crossover, aiming to return the way he came. And suddenly, in the bottom of the ditch, he hits water that throws a roostertail so mammoth it goes over his roof, obliterating my view of his car.
“Please, God, let him get stuck,” I hear my evil twin pray.
He doesn’t. Just jumps on the freeway and heads back the way he came.