Mecan (and mewill) make fun of the Porsche Macan.

I love the Germans, I really do. I spent half my professional life working with them, and I have the David Hasselhoff CDs to prove it. Most of my cars are German, and I even went to high school in the Vaterland. And so I feel I’m uniquely qualified to make fun of them. So here goes: Germans in marketing departments are as helpful as Brits in the kitchen.

(Hey, my stepmom is a Brit. You don’t have to yell at me - she’ll do a fine job on your behalf).

But seriously, one assumes Porsche has a large marketing department, and the best name it can come up with for the company’s forthcoming small SUV is.. Macan?  Porsche says it’s “derived from the Indonesian word for tiger.”

Hmm, that sounds familiar. In fact, if you visit your local VW dealership, you’ll find a Golf-based crossover called the Tiguan. That beauty of a name is half tiger and half iguana—and was voted upon by the readers of Auto Bild, the German car-magazine equivalent of the National Enquirer. (No, seriously. On both counts.)

If I follow logic, that means the Tiguan (Tiger/Iguana) is halfway between the Macan (a tiger) and the Cayman (an iguana.) Does that mean the Macan is actually a Volkswagen Tiguan without the Porsche bits? Wait, does a Tiguan even have Porsche bits? I’m so confused.

What I really don’t like about all of this is that both tigers and Cayman iguanas are endangered species. That doesn’t bode well for either Cayman (a great Porsche), the Tiguan (an okay Volkswagen). And the Macan—is it endangered before it’s even born?

I don’t know. But I do know that it’s not too soon to start making fun of the Macan name.

Which do we like better?

A)    Macan go fast in my Porsche. B)    Oh drat, my Macan is being towed to the... Mecan-ic. C)    Buenos dias, Toucan Sam, would you like to buy a Macan, man? D)    Methinks Mecan but Mewon’t buy a Macan. Gimme a 911 instead.

In my last blog, I made fun of some other German companies for their now-illogical alphanumeric naming schemes. I take all that back—if this is the alternative, clearly that’s the way to go. Macan’t think of a stranger name for a Porsche crossover. Canju?

Yer an idjut. Let's have them call it the "Queue 5500 SXFT" That would be so much better, no? Should they stick to the traditional and more sensible car names, like "Citation", "Taurus", "Pacer"? "OOH, it sounds funny to my ears, tee hee, tee hee." If you don't like the name, get a job there as the "Official Car Namer". Otherwise shut it. Grow up
All of you’ll must watch the new Maruti Ritz tvc which in the form of a small argument between a young couple, showcases their theme of “keeps you calm and comfortable”
San Diego Mechanic
I actually thought it was some sort of legume, mecan, pecan, get it?lols It's true though, if it's meant to be a fierce ride, why not choose something that actually registers easily instead of getting the meaning lost in translation.
Driving lessons Torquay
wow this design looks amazing.
"Auto Bild, the German car-magazine equivalent of the National Enquirer” haha - how true is that!! Fortunately most of your readers can't read German (Autobild) and their endless anti-American rants. The Autobild blogs are more German hilariously patriotic rants about their beloved VOLKSWAGEN (GAG)!! – almost as funny or embarrassing as Top Gear (Brits)
Rhino Guy As you can see the Cayman (caiman) is also an alligator, and a nasty one at that. Still, Macan is a stupid name.
A Cayman
Sorry to break it for you. A Cayman is not an iguana, a cayman is a croc.

New Car Research

our instagram

get Automobile Magazine

Subscribe to the magazine and save up to 84% off the newsstand price


new cars

Read Related Articles