What Should the Politicians Drive?

Rex Roy
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The Democratic Party
With their dismal approval ratings, Democrats like Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi can't be accurately represented by any new car. Every new car produced for the U.S. market runs too well to represent these political animals. Your author believes these Dems are best represented by the diesel-powered Oldsmobiles from the 1980s. These cars were universally despised for their dismal performance, abject lack of reliability, and penchant for blowing smoke.

The 2011 Chevrolet Volt, on the other hand, honestly represents Democrats like President Obama. Even though no one has seen the car perform in real-world conditions, the electric Volt gives hope to many. Unfortunately, like the President's stimulus package, we'll have to wait for the Volt to genuinely hit the streets, and then wait even longer to feel its full impact. If it has one at all.

The Republican Party
Republicans present a special problem. Like James Bond's vanishing Aston Martin from the movie Die Another Day, current Republicans have gone invisible after the elections. That move may have been intentional, but now the GOP can't find the switch to turn off the cloaking device.

If the party ever regroups and reappears, they'll likely want to arrive in something more modest than the Aston or risk furthering the party's fat cat, greedy capitalist reputation. If they have the good sense to ask what vehicle from which to stage a comeback, we'd recommend an advanced domestic like the Ford Fusion Hybrid. This car represents everything that right about the U.S.A.

Unless Republicans do something constructive, the GOP faces the genuine risk of reappearing in Washington behind the wheel of -- horror of horrors -- a Pontiac Aztek.

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