2009 Hummer H3T Alpha vs 2009 Nissan GTR - Over The Hill

At mile 4.7, we encounter a sign: "Recommended-high clearance, four-wheel drive, short wheelbase." Ummm . . . define "short wheelbase." Because we've definitely got a shorter wheelbase than a lot of things, like a crew-cab Ford F-150 or those fire trucks with a separate steering wheel on the back. But within an hour, we're up over the 13,114-foot Imogene Pass and heading back down toward Ouray. There's been nothing so far that would threaten the Hummer with getting stuck, but we have affirmed that off-roading, like brain surgery and tantric canoodling, is an activity best approached at a leisurely pace. The way I'm driving, we won't get stuck, but we might well suffer concussions from bouncing our heads off the roof. We roar down into Ouray and, after a strangely soothing mile or two on the pavement, cut back onto a trail called the Alpine Loop for the second leg of the trip. We're a couple hours in, and I wonder how Jason is faring. I imagine him stuck behind a wedding procession in some Podunk town, banging his fists on the steering wheel and wondering why he ever got on the wrong side of a Duke boys shortcut scenario. As we wend our way up to Engineer Pass, my phone rings. It's Jason. Probably calling to forfeit because he's so far behind. I gleefully answer, "Wanna give up?" "No," he answers serenely. "I'm there." No. This cannot be true. He cannot have covered 160-something miles on insane mountain roads this quickly. I ask how fast he went. "Well, I probably averaged seventy," he replies. This scarcely seems credible, given the dastardly roads around Telluride. "Once you're away from Telluride, the road opens up a lot," Jason explains. "I probably passed 150 cars. There were places to pass everywhere."