Like many Americans, I find it galling and presumptuous that members of Congress deign to tell the car industry how it should run. Making confident yet ill-informed proclamations like that is simply not a job for our elected officials. It's a job for writers, and I resent these senators stepping on my turf.
As an expert on these matters as well as many others, I think it only fair to share my wisdom with the car companies and the public at large, for even mighty Toyota is but a lamb lost among wolves without my insightful guidance. With that, then, I humbly and graciously submit for your elucidation my ten-point plan to repair the auto industry:
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