Our $250 Limo
The car was cheap. Making it (and us) look respectable and humping from New York to New Orleans was another thing entirely. (Thanks to the Ford Motor Company for helping us get to New York in the first place.)
| ANN ARBOR, MICHIGAN |
| -1983 Cadillac Fleetwood Brougham Limousine, black on red velour, 100,000-plus miles | $250.00 |
| -Repair headlights, leaking brakes, broken steering column, battery | $550.00 |
| -Replacement road wheel, used | $26.50 |
| -Tires (including mounting and balancing) | $300.00 |
| -Cosmetics: eight rolls white duct tape, two rolls masking tape, two disposable paint trays, two gallons Rust-Oleum latex white, three paint rollers, two foam brushes, two spray cans Rust-Oleum gold | $114.86 |
| -Ford F-350 diesel dualie tow vehicle, aluminum flatbed trailer | Free (from Ford) |
| -Rental: three Elvis costumes, one woman's tutu, feather boa | $343.39 |
| -One pair pink Converse high-tops, two peach tuxedos | $202.00 |
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| STATEN ISLAND, NEW YORK |
| -One box rubber gloves, one bottle Windex, one jack, one two-by-eight plank, two heavy-duty jack stands | $85.07 |
| -Scaring the hell out of your associate editor by making him three-wheel a twenty-two-foot-long limo off a three-foot-high trailer using one skinny ramp, a two-by-eight plank, and a jack stand | Priceless |
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| EN ROUTE |
| -Eight bottles carburetor cleaner | $25.35 |
| -One can Fix-A-Flat | $5.48 |
| -One small bottle brake fluid, one spare fuel filter | $10.70 |
| -One gallon antifreeze | $10.58 |
| -Five bottles automatic transmission fluid | $10.32 |
| -Parts and labor to bypass heater ore, rebuild carburetor, adjust fan belt, replace undercar fuel filter, replace air filter | $354.66 |
| -One aftermarket stick-on rearview mirror | $6.45 |
| -One pine-tree-shaped air freshener | $2.53 |
| -One gas cap (original lost or stolen) | $7.41 |
| -One fuel pump for Oldsmobile 307-cubic-inch V-8 | $35.99 |
| -Fourteen more rolls of duct tape in assorted fashionable colors | $29.54 |
| Total: | $2370.83 |
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